| Feedback Received:
(C&P quote from feedback) |
Evaluation of Feedback:
(Do you agree with this feedback? Why/Why Not) |
Plan to Address:
(How specifically do you plan to address this feedback?) |
Timeline:
(Pick a day and time) |
|---|---|---|---|
| "I do really like on how you structuring your paragraphs" | Agree. The current paragraph structure effectively supports the logical flow and transition between the two poems. | No major changes needed here. | Ongoing |
| "I think you could expand more about the poet's background at the beginning" | Agree. While I briefly mention Smith's father working on the Hubble telescope, expanding on how his death directly influenced the collection's themes of space and grief will support the analysis better. | I will add 2-3 sentences in the introduction elaborating on Smith's relationship with her father's work and how his passing shaped Life on Mars, leading directly into the thesis. | Day 1, 2:00 PM |
| "Elaborate your thoughts for the ending" | Agree. The conclusion ties the space metaphors together but feels a bit abrupt and could better synthesize the specific points made about the two poems. | I will rewrite the concluding paragraph to explicitly summarize the comparative findings of "Sci-Fi" and "My God, It's Full of Stars" and leave a stronger final thought on human biology and memory. | Day 1, 4:00 PM |
| "It is make sense as a reader to get enough comparison from those poems" | Agree. The comparative approach between the idealized future in "Sci-Fi" and the emotional reality in "My God..." is the core strength of the essay. | I will maintain this comparison, taking a moment to double-check that both poems receive balanced attention and sufficient textual evidence. | Day 2, 10:00 AM |
| "Perhaps you need to look into the grammar a bit and stuff... The line breaks could also be reintroduced properly in the body of the essay." | Agree. Grammar issues distract from the argument, and proper line breaks are strictly required for accurately quoting poetry.
Disagree. Line breaks are fine for the three line quotes. |
1. Do a thorough proofreading pass.
2. Fix the formatting for the quotes from "Sci-Fi" and "My God, It's Full of Stars" to ensure the stanzas and line breaks reflect the original text. |
Day 2, 2:00 PM |
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What patterns of feedback did you notice? (i.e. anything showing up consistently, either positively or as something that requires revision?)
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strong thesis, comparison
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expanding the background, elaborating on the conclusion
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What specific aspect of your draft is most important to address in your revision?
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More sources to analyze, two sources is not enough.
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Do research on the background of the book and the poet to expanding the introduction
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What did you notice about your peer's papers that you might want to incorporate into your own draft?
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I noticed how peers do the conclusion. I can use that as an example to revise my concluding paragraph
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What type of feedback, or specific questions, do you want me (Nick) to address in our one-on-one meeting?
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Is the depth of comparison between the two poems balanced?
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Does the added background in the intro flow naturally into the thesis, or is it too much summary?
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Are my poetry quotes and line breaks formatted correctly now?
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